Good guys make me cry

Watching “Living with Fran” at Studio 23 while working late at home Sunday night (or maybe I should reverse the order of priority, it’s working while watching) made me cry. In spite of the divided attention, my eyes and hands on the laptop, my ears on the tv set and my mouth on nagging Kahlil to take a bath already, I couldn’t help my eyes getting misty. It was this sitcom, yeah a situation comedy (and you say it’s supposed to make viewers laugh) that I watch every Sunday – one thing I do religiously – that touches the sentimental part of me.

“Living with Fran” spins around a sort of blended family. Fran is a divorcee, she has the custody over her 15-year-old (I think) daughter, Allyson, cool and acerbic. Her teenaged son, Josh, suddenly moving in with her after dropping out of medical school was dismayed to find out that not only was his room turned into a gym but Fran has a boyfriend, Riley, half her age living with her. Everyone was cool about the arrangement except Josh. Anyway, that’s the initial telecast and the sitcom is supposed to revolve around that plot.

In tonight’s episode, Fran and Riley were to celebrate their anniversary, with dinner just for the two of them. Josh and Allyson were supposed to be out, so the two had the house all for themselves. And as sitcoms would go, romantic dinner turns into disaster. One after another Allyson and Josh came home. Fran was sending them away to a food court but Riley said they could turn it into a family affair instead and told Fran that they could have private dessert later. Then Fran’s ex, Ted, always with his impeccable timing to ruin Fran’s day or night, whatever, arrived and was invited to stay for dinner by Allyson. He got Riley’s seat. Over dinner there were lots of sarcastic exchanges among everybody except Riley who asserted his role as the man in the family. Whether he succeeded or not was another thing.

Private dessert was all set but Riley had already lost his appetite. He was slighted by the way Fran treated him in front of Ted and her children over dinner, when she disregarded Riley’s decision not to allow Allyson to watch a certain movie and allowed Josh to refer to him as just “my mom’s boyfriend”. Fran said something like, “it’s a family thing” which further insulted Riley; he walked out of the bedroom not touching the dessert. This is the part when I turned teary-eyed and felt a lump in my throat

Conflict was resolved after Fran, on the following day, took a doggie downer instead of a pain reliever, and blabbered in front of everyone (I’m making the story really short, I swear) making everyone know how they feel towards one another. In the end, Riley gave Fran an eyeglasses as an anniversary gift. That Fran wears glasses was a fact hidden from him by the entire family.

Riley is young, tall, handsome, romantic, sensitive, expresses his honest feelings, understanding, broad-minded, forgiving, mature and responsible guy. What moved me was exactly that. Fran’s lucky to have her....ER, HIM, HIM, HIM!!!! (hmmm, does he have a brother?).

a motley of quotations on feminism

Because I am a woman, I must make unusual efforts to succeed. If I fail, no one will say, "She doesn't have what it takes." They will say, "Women don't have what it takes." ~Clare Boothe Luce

I myself have never been able to find out precisely what feminism is: I only know that people call me a feminist whenever I express sentiments that differentiate me from a doormat. ~Rebecca West, 1913

The thing women have yet to learn is nobody gives you power. You just take it. ~Roseanne Barr

Feminism is the radical notion that women are people. ~Cheris Kramarae and Paula Treichler

I, with a deeper instinct, choose a man who compels my strength, who makes enormous demands on me, who does not doubt my courage or my toughness, who does not believe me naïve or innocent, who has the courage to treat me like a woman. ~Anaïs Nin

A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle.
Gloria Steinem

The truth will set you free. But first, it will piss you off.
Gloria Steinem

Without leaps of imagination, or dreaming, we lose the excitement of possibilities. Dreaming, after all, is a form of planning.
Gloria Steinem

I'm tough, I'm ambitious, and I know exactly what I want. If that makes me a bitch, okay. ~Madonna Ciccone

You don't have to be anti-man to be pro-woman. ~Jane Galvin Lewis

I became a feminist as an alternative to becoming a masochist. ~Sally Kempton, attributed

There are very few jobs that actually require a penis or vagina. All other jobs should be open to everybody. ~Florynce Kennedy

Feminism directly confronts the idea that one person or set of people [has] the right to impose definitions of reality on others. ~Liz Stanley and Sue Wise

I asked a Burmese why women, after centuries of following their men, now walk ahead. He said there were many unexploded land mines since the war. ~Robert Mueller

Being a lady is an attitude. ~Chuck Woolery, Love Connection

I am beautiful as I am. I am the shape that was gifted. My breasts are no longer perky and upright like when I was a teenager. My hips are wider than that of a fashion model's. For this I am glad, for these are the signs of a life lived. ~Cindy Olsen, co-owner of The Body Objective

[Feminism is] a socialist, anti-family, political movement that encourages women to leave their husbands, kill their children, practice witchcraft, destroy capitalism and become lesbians. ~Pat Robertson

No man is as anti-feminist as a really feminine woman. ~Frank O'Connor

It starts when you sink in his arms and ends with your arms in his sink. ~Author Unknown

To me, "sexual freedom" means freedom from having to have sex. ~Lily Tomlin

I'm just a person trapped inside a woman's body. ~Elaine Boosler

I didn't want to be a boy, ever, but I was outraged that his height and intelligence were graces for him and gaucheries for me. ~Jane Rule

A woman is like a tea bag. It's only when she's in hot water that you realize how strong she is. ~Attributed to both Eleanor Roosevelt and Carl Sandburg

If divorce has increased by one thousand percent, don't blame the women's movement. Blame the obsolete sex roles on which our marriages were based. - Betty Friedan

A feminist is a woman who does not allow anyone to think in her place - Michele Le Doeuff.

Mahal namin ang mga kababaihan, mahal namin ang mga kababaihan....at dapat ang mga babae nasa bahay, nag-aalaga ng mga anak. - SPO Roberto Bondoc, Deputy Commander SPD, on Women's Day.


from a motley of sources

hindi pang women's day

it started with an exchange of texts messages.
him: wer r u?
me: sa mtg. y?
him: kailangan ko kausap.
me: tapos ako ng 5 pm, then i'll go to ofis. san ka ba?
him: sa kumunoy ng depresyon.
me: san ba yun? andito ko morato.
him: hehe, tange!!

a few more exhanges of texts then we decided we could meet for coffee. the resto where we usually have coffee has moved to another location so we ended up at starbucks.

we don't often see each other but everytime he's sad he remembers me. i'm on the top of his list because i always listen to him intently and i was never 'clinical' with my approach. but last night was different. he could feel that i was already feeling blase. and yes, i started being clinical.

he began lamenting about his love-hate relationship with his live-in partner. i laughed. he was upset that i did and he almost clammed up. but i said, "you told me the same problem two years ago. how could i not laugh? two years ago eh wala akong karelasyon. nagkaron na ko ng karelasyon, sumaya na ko, nahiwalay, nalugkot, nagalit at ngayon eh masaya na ulit pero ikaw yan pa rin ang sinasabi mo!"

i wasn't sorry that i laughed at him; i meant to be straightforward and i didn't care if he was offended. i made him realize that he's stuck in his miseries. he knows exactly what to do to end what's bugging him all these years he only has to start doing something, and really do something. he realized that i could get tired of listening to him but he also knows that i've always been the friend he could trust.

before the night ended, he was laughing with me again. we parted ways, got a goodnight text from him, "salamat sa 2 beses na untog". with that i knew i'm not going to hear from him again for the next one or two months at least.