Saturday, August 07, 2004

test of character

many may not agree with me but i believe that the true test of the strength of character of a person is the humility to admit one's follies. to commit mistakes is part of human nature. we judge things erroneously at times causing us to make decisions that may not be at all beneficial to the most number of people, including ourselves. but it is when we admit we erred that we are able to see things in a different light and make amends.

the problem with many of us is pride. no wonder it is listed as one of the seven deadly sins. it is with our pride that we refuse to admit mistakes lest they be misconstrued as weakness of character or a sign of ineptitude. our pride clouds our ability to see things with impartiality and forbids us to correct our blunders. we spurn the opinions of well-meaning people and justify our actions instead of listening to them and rectifying and learning from our mistakes.

the wisest of people are those who know they do not know everything and that havings things screwed up can actually happen without meaning to. being able to acknowledge this is one mean feat. our courage to recognize and humbly admit our imperfections helps us to confront our pride, to correct our mistakes, to ask forgiveness from those we wronged. that is a test of our character. and that is when we are able to transcend our humanness.

Thursday, August 05, 2004

dreamless slumber

Oh how i've missed a dreamless slumber. For the past one month or two I have been retiring to bed exhausted from day's work only to wake upthe following morning fatigued because of my sojourns to dreamville. My dreams were characterized by quests for people, places, objects that brought me to various locations sometimes by foot, sometimes on board a car, jeepney, plane, boat, skateboard, pushcart, or what have you. Still sometimes I just find myself "teleporting", (a word I learned from my son) from one spot to another in a matter of nanoseconds. I didn't find anything. I would always awaken just when I am on the verge of spotting whatever or whoever is the object of my night's quest.

Now that was frustrating because after not finding anything at all I would often wonder what my dreams meant. Every morning I would recollect the details and attempt to relate the subconscious to my conscious self in the hope of finally putting an end to what seemed like an infinite pursuit of something i didn't even know what. But to no avail.

I finally gave up interpreting my dreams, i pondered that I needed the help of a professional dream analyst who would shed light and tell me whether there was something lacking in me that I needed to find or whether those dreams didn't mean a thing at all. In introspection, I realized that right now I have the upper hand as far as my existence is concerned and no need to convolute my brains more with what might simply be irrelevant images that appear when i was in subconscious state.

Last night, I had my first dreamless slumber (first, after a very long time). It was such a respite from nightly trips to dreamland. This morning when I woke up I felt I rested and glad that finally I didn't have to tire myself deciphering the subliminal mind. But then I was also amused because I actually wondered why it was such an uncomplicated sleep. With that, I leapt out of bed and shook off all my cares away.