I know I'm not alone in this dire predicament. A colleague of mine lamented that her expenditures are much higher than mine and already I am complaining. But who cannot complain? And why should I not complain? I know (again) that I'm still much better off compared to so many others who, as the survey on hunger showed over a month ago, barely have three square meals nowadays. But hey, I work hard. I work hard to enjoy my life and it's exactly what I am missing. To enjoy life is exactly what I cannot afford these days.
The material things are actually immaterial. I can have delight in squid balls for snacks instead of mango crepe and puttanesca. I can just take a nap instead of going to the malls. I can sketch instead of watch movies. There are other ways I can do to unwind and refresh my physical body if it's all I wanted. But then again, it's not just physical. The flesh may be able to recover but the mental agony is still draining me. To go for squid ball instead of puttanesca is not a matter of choice, not a matter of cravings, but it's become a necessity to cut back on expenses, and to save myself from anxiety of not having a penny left. I have to do that to keep my sanity. Thinking about how much deeper the economy can plunge into causes me stress that a nap or sketching cannot ease off.
I need not be reminded that millions more of Filipinos are in worse situation than I am. And that adds to my ordeal. If I can feel the brunt of this fiscal crisis how much more can the other people who have less or nothing to spend, but with more mouths to feed? (That's the quandary of an NGO worker like me.) How can I complain when I have got a job and I'm still able to eat and send my child to school? The thing is that to complain is all that I am left with now. The very optimistic people would probably tell me it's not spiritually healthy. The heck with being spiritually healthy, maybe one reason why suicide cases have gone up about the same time that the economy worsened is that people can't have even a moment to express their anguish because they're too busy making ends meet or worse, looking for ends that would meet.
So, why should I not complain?