he found my diary....

romel found my diary.

while i was lost in my dreams there he was reading my diary. that diary witnessed all the agonies i felt from my previous marriage. i didn't mean to hide it from him, neither did i mean for him to see it. it was there lying in one corner of the room, not even waiting to be opened and reread. it was there just to guard the painful memories. romel said i should throw it away already because till now everytime i open it i am driven to tears.

it's not that i'm still hurting. it is that what i went through bereaved me of my self-esteem. everytime i accidentally open the diary and recall my sufferings i feel triumphant that i had gotten over it. that i had surpassed the obstacles. all i wanted was to live a happy life which i could not obtain from that union. getting away from it was the hardest thing to do because of my son only to realize later that it was the sole recourse i had. somehow i rue that it took me a long while before i mustered the courage to let go and to cease being hopeful that things could still turn out well; that it took me a while to realize the union was doomed from the start.

four years later i am living a new life, hopeful again that i would be happy, happy forever. i am happy, and i trust that this would last forever. and if i should open my diary again, i hope to make new entries, memories that i would love to reminisce and relive over and over.